


Keep Me in Mind

by ethereal_xo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (Just a little bit), Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Link, Mental connection, Pre-Relationship, Psychic Bond, R/S Small Gifts 2018, Spell Failure, mischief and mayhem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-25 00:19:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethereal_xo/pseuds/ethereal_xo
Summary: When a spell goes wrong, a connection is formed that may be just what these two needed...





	Keep Me in Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [renaissance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissance/gifts).



> Hope you like this Ren! It was a bit rushed because of college, but I had as much fun as I could with this prompt :)

 

They were in the dormitory when it happened.

They’d found this book in the library, about simple spells that they could use in a few of their pranks. The title was long faded, traces of the silver print still visible when the worn leather cover was put under a certain light. It was from the Restricted Section, a book James spotted while on his nightly travels.

Remus, for one, was quite excited about this new discovery. He absolutely loved learning new spells. He liked to learn as much as possible. This was partly due to his love of magic, and partly because even after all this time in Hogwarts, he was afraid that his secret would be revealed to everyone and that he’d be forced to leave the school. This ate away at him a lot, but he tried as much as possible to ignore it, and to ignore the fact that his friends were in danger too for knowing what he was.

_Enough of that_ , he said to himself, reprimanding. _You’re here to learn to be a wizard, not to mope about being a werewolf. Get a hold of yourself._

He was brought back to reality by a snort from James.

“These seem to be a load of binding spells I think,” James murmured, flicking through the pages and only stopping to lick his thumb every so often. “I didn’t realise anyone needed so many.”

Remus watched as Sirius leapt up and peered over James’ shoulder, a couple of black strands escaping the bun on the back of his head. He huffed and quickly redid it – a quick twist and shove the wand in to secure – before glancing down again. “Any that would bind Snivellus to a wall, so we wouldn’t have to be near his greasiness again?”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose gently. He’d heard enough about Severus Snape to last him a lifetime. Between this and hearing second-hand from Dorcas how he was treating Lily…honestly, he was tempted to take a leaf out of James’ book and teach him a lesson. It was only a temptation however, not something he could ever act on. He was never brave enough to stop them messing with Severus, but that didn’t mean he would join in. No matter how much of an evil path Severus seemed to be taking.

“Here’s one,” James said suddenly, pointing at an area of the page. “Apparently it’s supposed to make everything you eat taste sweet.”

“Sounds like a spell for you, Wormy!”

“Oh no,” Peter said, “I had way too many Sugar Quills and Chocolate Frogs last night. If I never taste anything sweet again, it’ll be too soon.”

“You say that,” James said, a teasing smirk curling his lips, “but we all know that you’ll pounce on the chocolate pudding at tea later.”

“And you’ll go for the treacle tart, like you always do. What’s your point?”

Sirius took the book from James while he bickered with Peter. Remus watched him as he skimmed the page. He saw the mischievous glint appear in his grey eyes. He knew that look all too well - it never meant anything innocent.

            His suspicions were proven correct when he flopped down beside Remus, slinging an arm lazily around his shoulders. “So…Moony. You like sweets, right?”

            “I’m fond of a few, yes.”

Sirius grinned and squeezed his shoulders. “Well, in that case…why don’t we try this spell on you, since Pete’s not that keen?”

Remus wrinkled his nose slightly. “I don’t know…”

“C’mon Moony, where’s that sense of adventure gone? I know you’re just as curious as we are…”

Remus had to admit, it was tempting. Stupid, but tempting. It was something he wouldn’t usually do without a bit of cautious thinking beforehand. It was an old book, God knows what could happen. But there was something about the way Sirius was looking at him…he knew he couldn’t refuse.

“Oh alright then.”

Sirius grinned widely and hugged his shoulders. “Yes! James, pass us the book, would you?”

After a bit of deliberation, they moved all the beds to the edges of the dorm. Peter and James sat on Sirius’ bed. Both were watching eagerly to see the spell in action.

Sirius stood and walked to one side of the dorm, near the window. He pulled his wand out from his hair, the jet waves cascading down his back. He positioned himself, ready to cast. Remus meanwhile stood near the foot of Peter’s bed, tugging his long sleeves over his hands nervously. He didn’t know how this would go. He didn’t even know why he had agreed to it in the first place. He didn’t know why he kept staring at Sirius’ ha -

But there was no going back on it now.

“ _Copulmens!_ ” A shot of pink light reached from the tip of Sirius’ wand to Remus. As soon as it touched him, there was a loud bang and the two of them were shot backwards into their opposite sides of the room. Remus landed onto the floor with a thump, a groan torn from his throat.

“For the love of God, Padfoot! That was the wrong spell! It’s _Copulcamens_ not _Copulmens!_ ”

Remus laid still on the floor. Little pixies floated around his head, still and silent. It took him a minute to realise that they were too transparent to be real.

“You alright Moony? You took a bang there.” James appeared by his side, reaching out a hand to help him up.

“Yeah…yeah I think so.” Remus slowly sat up and rubbed his head, looking around for Sirius. He was sitting on the floor opposite to him, his expression mirroring the dazed haze in Remus’ head. He felt a weird stingy feeling in his hand, as if he had been scalded. _Odd_ , he thought.

“Maybe we should leave it for tonight,” Peter said, hauling Sirius to his feet. “We need to be in class tomorrow, can’t have any other injuries happen.”

“Mightn’t be a bad idea, Pete,” James murmured. “We have Transfiguration tomorrow. I don’t fancy Minnie breathing down our necks again, as much as I love her.”

Sirius moved to stand near Remus, touching his arm gently. Remus felt a small sting in his arm where their skin met, like an electric shock. By Sirius’ wide eyes, he knew that he felt it too.

“You alright?” Remus whispered.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine.”

They stared at each other for a moment. They said nothing, but both knew that something was different. Remus couldn’t put his finger on what, but something was different. He stayed awake trying to figure out what it meant, but he couldn’t. Eventually, he drifted off to sleep.

 

 

He woke the next morning craving a fry-up. Normally he hated fry-ups (the bacon was always over-done for his tastes, he liked it a little more on the raw side for obvious reasons). But now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Fried egg, sausages, pudding, the works. It was so odd.

“James, save a seat for me! I’m bloody starving. I need a fry right now. They better have some left.”

“Well get your arse in gear and maybe you’ll be able to have some!”

Remus didn’t think it was odd that Sirius wanted one. He always had a large and frankly weird appetite. His own stomach started to growl at the thought of food.

“C’mon Moony, get up! We need to eat!”

Remus hesitated for a second, and then leapt out of bed to get dressed. And if he ate a load of bacon rashers at the breakfast table, no one commented on it.

 

 

The second strange occurrence happened the following day. Remus didn’t have any weird cravings. The only out of the ordinary thing was that Sirius got a letter for the first time in weeks.

He felt his own heart pounding in his chest all of a sudden, but it was not as strong as it should be. It felt more phantom, like the ghost of a hammering heart.

_Sirius._

James hissed his name at him as he rose from his seat, but it didn’t register. Remus rushed out of the classroom, leaving his bag and parchment behind him at his desk. He didn’t even think to excuse himself. He just had to get to Sirius.

He was sitting on the bathroom floor and clutching a letter when Remus found him. His hands were shaking, and he could make out little droplets that stained the parchment and smudged the ink. He did make out one word however that made his stomach clench – Mother.

“Pads? You alright?”

Sirius jumped and rubbed his face roughly. “I – I’m fine.”

Remus knew he wasn’t. There was no doubt in his mind that whatever was in the letter had shook Sirius in a bad way.

 

 

They figured out eventually – after a week and a half of painful researching – that the spell had given them some kind of mental connection. It was strange, something out of the science fiction novels that Remus had read when he was in primary school. The situation had gotten worse in the days after the letter arrived. Not only could Remus feel everything that Sirius felt, but he could hear everything he was thinking.

What was worse, was that Sirius could hear everything Remus was thinking as well. It didn’t feel right. He felt like there was an intruder in his mind and that was not a pleasant feeling at all.

But little did he know that it would reveal something big today.

Remus had a habit of admiring people while hiding he was doing so. He loved to look around and see wonderful people, both in appearance and personality, wandering around the castle. It was one of his quiet pleasures.

He often did it at the table while eating or reading his books. He was doing it now, only half-concentrating on his assignment about the various uses of the dittany plant. He had no preference when he came to people. He liked both genders. It was something that had taken a long time to accept, but he hadn’t told anyone else yet.

_Wait - you’re bi? Since when are you bi?_

Well, until now it seemed. _Since when was I straight?_

_Lupin I swear to fuck -_

Remus burst out into violent giggles right then, startling the third-years sitting beside them. He loved to tease Sirius like this, it was so easy to wind him up. It definitely wasn’t because his ears went red at the tips in the most –

He stopped himself.

_The most what Moony?_

_Get out of my head!_

_Well in case you haven’t noticed, you’re also in my head which isn’t ideal._

Remus shot him a dirty look and stuck out his tongue.

Sirius smirked at him triumphantly. _If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were a child!_

_You become who you associate with it seems._

Sirius narrowed his eyes, seemingly about to reply, when an older lad tapped him on the shoulder. He seemed to be eager to speak to Sirius. Remus felt heat pool in the pit of his stomach, a glimmer of a feeling that wasn’t his own. A flash of a memory appeared in his mind – the burn of a bite on his neck, a pair of lips wrapped around his cock, a fullness in his hole…

Remus knew exactly who this lad was. He was just another one of Sirius’ hook-ups. He gritted his teeth behind a closed mouth and breathed out slowly through his nose. He didn’t understand what was wrong with him. He caught Sirius giving him a worried side-glance, but he ignored it. He clambered out of his seat, yanked his bag out from under the bench and stormed off. He didn’t even know why he was so annoyed at Sirius, he just couldn’t be around him right now.

_Remus, wait!_

_Fuck off, Black._ The thought flew out of his head before he could stop it. He froze in the doorway, knowing that Sirius was staring right at him from his place at the Gryffindor table. But he didn’t turn around. He kept walking, his feet in control, carrying him to the first place they knew where to take him.

His heart sank a little when, once he set foot in the dormitory, he realised that Sirius had not followed him.

 

 

It was hours later when he decided to leave the dorm. The rest of them hadn’t come up yet, he assumed because it was Saturday and they wanted to play in the common room. That suited Remus just fine. He pulled on a heavy coat over his jumper and a pair of boots over his thin socks and baggy jeans. Then he went downstairs and out, not even looking around the common room. He went outside into the blistering cold air, pulling on a hat and gloves he had inside his coat pockets.

He felt more than heard Sirius come up behind him. He didn’t react. Why, all of a sudden, did Sirius feel the need to be with him?

“You wanted to be alone.” Sirius murmured, answering his thought. He shrugged a little. “I figured I would leave you alone. I felt how angry you were. But there…you just seemed lonely. I thought that I’d join you.” There was a pause. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Why don’t you read my mind and find out?”

Sirius chuckled softly.

There was an awkward silence, heavy on his ears and his heart, before Remus spoke again. “I’m sorry, about earlier. I was an arse.”

“No, I was. I get that now. I didn’t get it before.”  Sirius reached over and squeezed Remus’ hand. “I didn’t realise how you felt.”

Remus frowned, confused. “What are you on about?”

Sirius chuckled and took a hold of his hand, rubbing his palm with his thumb. _I like you too, idiot._

Remus blinked for a second, and then his eyes widened. _You mean you…_

Sirius nodded slowly, and Remus felt his heart fly into his mouth.

“How long?”  
 

“Too long,” Sirius whispered. “Much too long.”

 

 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Same reason you didn’t. I didn’t know if you felt the same. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship."

Remus didn’t need to speak or use his psychic connection in order to communicate he felt right in that very moment. Sirius could see it, he knew he could. He carefully cupped Sirius’s face and pressed his fingertips lightly to the stubbled skin of his cheeks in a bid to stop them shaking. It didn’t work, but what did was Sirius’ hand on the small of his back, rubbing comfortingly.

“It’s okay,” Sirius whispers. “It’s just you and me here.”

Remus nodded a few times, chewing on his bottom lip. Before he knew what he was doing, he’d grabbed the lapels of Sirius’ leather jacket and kissed him. If Sirius was surprised, Remus couldn’t tell anymore. But he knew one thing for certain - this was more overwhelming than the connection had ever been. Sirius’ hand in his hair, tugging gently at the curls at the nape of his neck, the feeling of Sirius’ silky hair wrapped around his fingers, chest to chest and warmth surrounding them even on this cold night in the middle of a Scottish winter.

It was gentler and sweeter than Remus had imagined. He doesn’t know _what_ exactly he imagined from his first kiss with Sirius, but this kiss would certainly have exceeded all his expectations. His lips were soft, the stubble on his chin scratched Remus’ cheek pleasantly. He tasted of top-shelf mead and tobacco smoke, and smelt of the sandalwood cologne he had stolen from James. It was new and frightening and exciting, and it sent a warmth and happiness to the pit of his stomach. In that moment, with just the two of them, he felt precious. He felt loved.

He pulled away slowly and pressed his forehead to Sirius’, eyes closed. He can feel Sirius’ gentle breath tickling his face. He had never been this close to someone before.

“Are you sure that was your first kiss, Lupin?” Sirius whispered. “Because that was…wow. Truly. Wow.”

Remus smiled slightly, his cheeks warm. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Sirius Black.”

Sirius’ eyes seemed to glow silver, like the enchanted tinsel strung on the trees in the Great Hall. A small slow smile spread across his face. “Yes, it seems there is.” He grabbed Remus’ gloved right hand and kissed his bare wrist softly. “And I look forward to learning every single one.”

Remus’ smile widened to a grin and kissed him again, lazily. As they embraced once more, snow started to fall and coat their hats and cloaks in a dusting of white. It was something out of a fairy-tale.

Remus knew that his life would never be a fairy-tale. But he didn’t need a fairy-tale. He just needed what he had, right in this moment. That’s all he truly wanted.

“Happy Christmas, Padfoot.”

“Happy Christmas, Moony.”

 


End file.
